Standing Tall vs. Leaning Forward

I haven't read Sheryl Sandberg's book, Lean In, but I have read several articles about it, including Why I'd Rather Stand Up Straight Than Lean In by Kristin van Ogtrop, which I came across online this afternoon. The comments below the post revealed significant differences of opinion, and people who had read the book pointed out that those who had not were making assumptions about what Ms. Sandberg meant by the title, some of which may not be accurate.

Metaphors can be tricky things, and even the best can be pushed to the breaking point (which I hope not to demonstrate below, but we'll see...). At the risk of mixing my metaphors, it's clear that the suggestion that women should "lean in" when it comes to the workplace--or that they aren't already doing so--is ruffling a lot of feathers.

I don't want to take issue with a book I've never read by an author I don't know, but in thinking about this particular analogy, it's clear that leaning in doesn't mean the same thing to everyone. It also occurs to me that even if you decide you would rather focus on finding balance than leaning in, striking that balance might turn out to involve quite a bit of forward leaning, depending upon what surface you find yourself on.

Is it a level playing field? Is the ground beneath you solid and stationary? Or have you been navigating on shifting sand or perhaps trying to float on water? Are there waves you will have to surf to avoid being pulled under? That won't be easy to do while standing up straight. Are you standing on a the side of a hill or down in a valley? Is it rocky or slippery or otherwise hard to get your footing? Is the wind blowing? Do you have support?

We are not all dealing with the same terrain, so to suggest that everyone should simply stand up straight and not worry about leaning in is to overlook the realities of privilege and preference. Even the same person encounters different environments at various points of her life. A woman who leans in at 40 may be ready to lean back at 80. 

I suspect that Ms. Sandberg and Ms. Van Ogtrop would agree that there is no one-size-fits-all answer for all women, much less all human beings. As we endeavor to find the posture which best serves us and others in this moment, may we also respect those who make very different choices than our own.