Monday, January 27, 2014

Mindfulness Monday: Time to Check In

How's it going? Are there goals you've been working toward or impressions of 2014 you'd like to share?

I said last Monday that I was feeling pretty good about most of my new year's resolutions: more mindful eating and including more "green" smoothies in my diet, daily meditation for at least 5 minutes (I've been doing 12.) and taking a slow-and-steady, non-perfectionistic approach. All of those observations still hold true.

I also said I wanted to step up my exercise and clutter clearing. I've definitely spent some time on clutter this past week, and, while it may look like a drop in the bucket, I'm encouraged to have made what progress I have. In addition to clearing some of the clutter in our home, we are gradually trying to go through my mom and dad's things with an eye toward selling dad's (large, incredibly overstuffed) house in the spring or summer, so my husband and I made a little field trip this weekend to fill up a few boxes and trash bags, there. I'm sure there will be MANY more such outings to come, but it felt good to at least start the process, officially.

 
I confess that I've made far less progress in the exercise department. I have been doing a few yoga stretches, which is not a bad start, but I need more aerobic activity, which I find especially difficult to do in the winter. I got in a great walk today and even did some yard work, as the temps climbed into the 50s! But there's a winter storm watch in our area tomorrow. And I need to have my dad at the eye surgeon's by 6am, so Tuesday doesn't look all that promising for a work-out. By my next check in, a week from today, I intend to have more aerobic progress to report.

With the rather glaring exception of exercise, however, things are going pretty well. I'm finding that meditation is becoming more a part of my routine and less of a debate with myself. I still have lots of thoughts scampering about as I sit quietly, but I'm less distressed by that than I was at the beginning, and the time seems to pass more quickly than it used to. I'm also feeling less reactive, in general, than I was a month ago. I suspect there is a relationship between my mindfulness practice and this perceived shift.

How about you? Feel free to check in using the comments below in whatever way is most helpful to you. You may want to report on your progress, or goal ideas, or how you are feeling about things, nearly a month into 2014. I'd love to hear from you.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Keep Moving

When I was a little girl learning how to cross busy streets with the help of WALK and DON'T WALK signs, I had no problem with the idea of waiting for the WALK sign before proceeding across the street, but if the sign switched to DON'T WALK before I made it to the other side, my impulse was to run back to where I'd started, wait for another turn, and walk faster the next time. In my mind, getting the DON'T WALK sign while I was still walking meant I hadn't done it correctly and needed to start over.

It took some time for me to recognize that, in most cases, all I had to do was keep going. Occasionally, I also needed to speed up or make some other adjustment, but rarely was going all the way back to my starting place a good idea.

As an adult, I still struggle with the reality that when mid-course corrections are needed it's usually more efficient to make those adjustments while I am in motion than to stop dead still and then try to take off again. Imagine what would happen if a pilot had to search for a landing strip every time strong winds started to blow the plane off course.

Sometimes it matters less what you do than it does that you DO something. I admit this is a hard lesson for me, especially when I am stuck in unhealthy perfectionism. (To be clear, there is no other kind of perfectionism.) You don't have to map out every journey in detail before you begin. What matters most is A) that you start and B) that you pay attention. It's the paying attention part--the mindfulness--that lets us know what adjustments to make as we go along.

Surely our resistance to this idea is why new year's resolutions have gotten such a bad rap. We may start something with the best of intentions, but once we hit a bump or two in the road, rather than making a mid-course correction, we give up and decide to wait for next year. In effect, we keep running back to the curb that we finally stepped away from. No wonder we aren't getting anywhere.

This year, I had a little chat with myself about this tendency before I made my resolutions. The list of things I want to work on right now is far too long to do flawlessly, so I had to accept the fact that if I was going to do them at all, I'd have to be willing to do them imperfectly. Whether everything is going as I'd like or not, I remind myself to keep moving and keep paying attention. I can slow down if I need to, or make any number of other changes, but I no longer want to keep running back to the same curb I've already spent so much time on.

Also, there's no particular magic in January 1 as Step-Off-the-Curb Day. It works at least as well on Epiphany (January 6) or your birthday or a week from Tuesday. Better yet, you can choose right now. Employ the phrase we used as children: Ready or not, here I come!
 

Another familiar saying was: Practice makes perfect. I now prefer: Practice makes progress. I'm applying this adage to my meditation practice. While meditating, our mind inevitably wanders. We gently guide it back to the breath--or our mantra, or the candle flame, or whatever point of focus we have chosen. If it wanders 10 times (and it will...), we bring it back 11. If it wanders 100 times (and it will...), we bring it back 101. 100,000 wanderings; 100,001 returns. The next day, we do the same thing again. We musicians are accustomed to this kind of routine. Practice. It's how we improve.

If we gave up the first time our mind wandered, no one would ever learn to meditate. If a baby stopped trying any of the first dozen times she fell, no baby would ever learn to walk. If an oboe player stopped playing after the first squeak, there would be no oboists. Making mistakes isn't an interruption in our learning, it's a vital part of the learning process.




A couple of days ago, I decided to add 2 more minutes to the 10 minute meditation sessions I started January 1st. My initial goal was to spend a minimum of 5 minutes a day meditating (which is still my bottom line) but I'd been doing 10 minutes at a time most days until I listened to the panel discussion above on the science of mindfulness, in which a neuroscientist describes a study of pre-deployment Marines who were taught to meditate before they were sent to Afghanistan. 


It turned out that as little as 12 minutes of meditation per day helped the Marines' attention and working memory remain stable while deployed. Those who were not meditating experienced a degradation of attention and working memory. Many of the Marines who initially chose not to receive the training ended up asking for it, once they saw how much better their meditating buddies were sleeping and how they seemed to avoid "the shakes."

When I learned that 12 minutes appeared to be the tipping point, I added two more minutes to my meditations. I'm using the free version of an iPhone app called Insight Timer to easily time and keep track of my sessions, so all I had to do was change the setting from 10 minutes to 12. I have to admit that sitting even just two minutes longer was definitely noticeable. I got antsy toward the end. But I've only done 12 minute sessions a couple of times, so I think I'll adjust, just as I did to 10 minutes. Eventually, I'd like to increase my meditations to 15 minutes, and ultimately as long as 20, but for now I'm quite happy with 12.


If you tend to think of mindfulness or meditation as nebulous, useless, or too "woo-woo" to be of any value, it's worth learning about this science. If you don't have an hour and 15 minutes to spare to hear the video above, you can fast forward to about 51:45 to hear about the study of the Marines that I mentioned.

So... Have you been able to keep moving toward your most recent goals? Does the pace feel right to you? Is it getting easier or more difficult, over time? What kinds of adjustments might be helpful as you continue to move forward?

Monday, January 20, 2014

Mindfulness Monday: How's it going?

I'd like to try using my Monday blog post each week as a check-in for how things are going with any goals, intentions, resolutions, or other areas of focus. I want to encourage all who are interested to post a comment here on Mondays--as brief or detailed as you like--to share something of your own experience.

In my case, I made several new year's resolutions and chose "mindfulness" as my word or theme for 2014, so it is my intention to use these Monday posts as a way of staying accountable for some of the things I've set out to do. 


You needn't have already made a January resolution to participate. Any goal(s) or intention(s), large or small, whether set today or established some time ago, will be perfectly appropriate to report on.

I hope that you will participate in whatever way feels right to you, recognizing that it may change from week to week. You may want to spell out specifics (I ran 4 days last week or read a novel, painted for an hour each day or wrote gratitudes in my journal every morning...), or you may prefer to talk about your feelings or relationship to your goals. The possibilities are endless, so please feel free to use this space to play with the idea and see what happens.

My chosen focus for 2014 is Mindfulness. As a part of that focus, I've set a goal of daily meditation for a period of at least 5 minutes. I'm also making an effort to eat and move more deliberately (and healthfully) each day and to include more raw greens in my diet in the form of "green smoothies." I further intend to do more reading and some serious de-cluttering.


MY MONDAY CHECK IN: 20 days into my new practices, I have done 10 minutes of sitting meditation on most days (I think I missed one.), sometimes twice in the same day. Initially, I did most of my meditating in the evening, but, having considered some compelling reasons to instead start the day with meditation, I've been shifting in that direction more recently.


So far, I have lots of "monkey brain" when I try to meditate, my thoughts flitting from place to place no matter how many times I return my attention to my breath, but I will say that by about 2 weeks in, I did start to feel less anxious about my inability to let go of all those thoughts and began to instead note whatever my experience was, without needing to critique it. The 10 minutes seemed to pass more quickly after a while than it did in the first few days.

As for mindfulness in my everyday activity, I would say I've caught myself doing overtly mindless things (forgetting why I walked in a room, for example) as much or more than ever. Perhaps the fact that I'm noticing how often this occurs and learning to pause and refocus when is does still counts as a form of beginner mindfulness practice? As with my seated meditation, I didn't feel like I got any better at concentrating in the first 20 days, but I did find myself feeling less anxious by the third week.

I drank a green smoothie most days, except if I was having an enormous salad as a meal, in which case I ate rather than drank my greens that day. I found this new habit easier and more enjoyable than I expected, and I think it may even be making me feel better, although it's difficult to know which things significantly contribute to one's sense of well-being at any given time. In any case, the green smoothie thing is definitely something I'd like to continue.

As for mindful movement, I've done a little yoga or tai chi most days, but I'd like to increase that practice as well as add more walking or other calorie burning activity. I often find exercise a challenge in the winter, as I'm not a fan of spending time outside in the cold, but one way or another I can increase my activity level, even in January and February. 


I've also made a bit of progress in the clutter department, which is another area I am resolved to be more intentional about this year. I'll write more about that next week. I've chosen so many different areas to work on that I'll probably touch on only one or two most Mondays, in an effort to keep these posts from being excessively tedious. But I wanted this first one to be somewhat comprehensive.

A part of my intention with all of these new year's resolutions is to approach them in a non-perfectionistic way. I made that decision quite consciously, in an effort to avoid the all-or-nothing trap that so often sabotages resolutions. Otherwise, as soon as I missed a day for any reason, I knew I'd be tempted to quit. By incorporating this more realistic intent into my resolutions up front, any slip up becomes simply an opportunity to mindfully begin again, with no major judgment involved. I find those self-judgments far more distracting than motivating, and the last thing I need is another excuse.

So, while I have no spectacular results to report, I think I've made a fairly good start. I'd much rather begin modestly and build on that foundation throughout the year than start with a bang and fizzle out quickly. My plan is to continue with the daily meditation and eating I've established and try to dial up the movement/exercise and clutter clearing part of things this week.


Well, that's more than enough from me for this check in! I'm very interested to hear from some of you. How is your new year going? Have you started any new practices or set any particular goals? If not, would you like to? If so, would you be willing to share a bit about them? It would be great to support one another on this journey.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Unfolding Epiphanies

Today, the 6th of January, many Christians celebrate the Feast of the Epiphany. The 12 days of Christmas have come to an end, and the biblical story continues that wise men or kings (perhaps astronomers?) follow a star in the east to where the Christ child has been born. When they arrive, they offer him gifts.

Ironically, I have no big epiphanies to report this day. I'm trying to honor any small ones that occur to me in hopes that they might clear the way for larger ones down the road. Or perhaps over time the little ones will eventually add up to a big one? In any case, I have been pondering the gifts we have to offer as well as divine guidance and the ways it might manifest in 2014. 

I have enough difficulty with explicit directions from a GPS that it's hard to imagine following only the light of a star to an unknown destination. Then again, almost everything about living over 2000 years ago is hard to imagine. Tonight, there are record low temperatures and high winds across the country, and I cannot fathom being without a heater and other modern conveniences.

The light of a large star in the night sky is quite a subtle roadmap, don't you think? Even without competing light from electricity in big cities, a star would be easy to miss if you weren't really tuned it. And the journey of those wise men would have taken a very long time. Camels can run in brief bursts up to 40 mph, but mostly they move slowly.

Today, we think of an epiphany as a sudden revelation or insight--a lightning bolt or "ah ha" moment. The season of Epiphany, however, points to something profound yet also subtle, involving slow and steady progress toward a goal which remains shrouded in mystery.

We like quick and easy solutions, dramatic transformations, immediate results. But even in 2014 some things simply don't work that way. There are times when the best approach or only viable option is taking one deliberate step at a time. On those journeys, patience, tenacity, and discernment are important gifts.


I've written of my tendency to be more of a hare than a tortoise and my desire to better appreciate the value of slow-and-steady. But maybe the camel, with its ability to endure adverse conditions even while carrying heavy burdens, is a more accurate metaphor than the tortoise for my aspirations.

Whichever creature may provide the best vehicle, my sense is that this year's epiphanies are likely to ride in gradually rather than descending in a great flash of light. In order not to miss them, I want to cultivate the art of paying attention.

What are you noticing about the new year? Are your 2014 insights arriving as "ah ha" moments or more like unfolding epiphanies? Do you find yourself operating more slowly and deliberately when it's colder out? Historically, are you more of a tortoise or a hare... or perhaps a camel, inchworm, or something else? I'd love to hear from you in the comments.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Fresh Starts

I've been thinking about fresh starts, the ones which occur naturally as well as those we create. The beginning of a new year is an obvious example, as are birthdays and anniversaries. New jobs or relocations also signal new beginnings, as do some spiritual experiences.

Recently, my husband and I were fortunate enough to be able to purchase a small vacation home in a place we love--Asheville, North Carolina. We had talked for some time about retiring there one day, but late last year we decided to take a big leap (well before our retirement) and buy a modest condominium there, with a view of the surrounding mountains. We were able to spend some time enjoying it over the holidays, and we are already having a blast exploring our new community.



The West End Bakery in Asheville, NC
I've chosen mindfulness as a particular focus for 2014, and I'm noticing that new surroundings lend themselves beautifully to mindfulness practice, particularly when you know your access to those surroundings will be somewhat limited for a while. I find myself motivated to pay attention so that I can notice just what is where and which places we may want to return to. I'm fascinated by little differences (and similarities) in climate and how people speak.

Of course, the reality is that virtually every place is filled with a multitude of things to explore. Witness the number of things a crawling baby can find to put in her mouth in a single room. Consider all the living things there are in your backyard or a nearby park.

The number of incredible things we miss each day--things that are right in front of us--is staggering. By adulthood, most of us have learned to tune them out almost completely. Often, our minds are so focused either on the future--some meeting, project, or conversation we anticipate or perhaps something we hope to achieve or obtain--or on the past--memories, regrets--that all too often we entirely miss the here-and-now. We slip into this pattern so habitually that most of the time we are barely even conscious of it.
 

The delight of exploring West Asheville today was a reminder that we have the power to make different choices. We can develop new habits. And we don't have to have a new marriage or baby or job or home or year to make a fresh start. Every morning--indeed, every moment--is an opportunity to begin anew.

Friday, January 3, 2014

Mindless Already

Oh, the irony. A mere three days after declaring 2014 to be the year I will focus on mindfulness, I absentmindedly misplaced my phone. No, not for brief moment. I spent the better part of 30 minutes searching a small and relatively clean condominium where I knew the phone HAD to be, before I finally discovered it. I had accidentally made my cell phone into the bed.

In my defense, the colors of the phone's case and of the quilt on the bed are quite similar. Also, having read an article yesterday which suggested that iPhones will charge faster while in airplane mode, my phone was set in such a way that it would not register calls, texts, or emails. So I couldn't just ask someone to call my phone and listen for the ring.


I was greatly relieved when I finally came upon the small purple rectangle, as I was running out of places to look and starting to feel nervous about the clothes in the wash, since that was one of the few places I hadn't investigated. (I also realized, while pondering the gravity of a waterlogged phone, that we have no uncooked rice in the condo.)

I'm counting this experience as confirmation that mindfulness is indeed something it behooves me to work on (not that there was any doubt). It feels a bit like the first ding in a new car. Now I can drive around with less worry about what might be the very first scratch on the finish of my new 2014 mindfulness practice. As it happens, perfectionism is one of the very things I want to be mindful of, so I intend to carry on with my plan for the new year, imperfectly and without apology.

How are your resolutions coming along? If you chose a word or theme for the year, how is that going? I know it's quite early, but I'm still interested to hear how the new year feels to you.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Welcome 2014 - A Year of Mindfulness

There were many wonderful things that happened last year, but I'm not the least bit sorry to part company with 2013. For me, its defining event was the death of my mother, so I look forward to a year defined by something else.
 

I've shied away from resolutions of late, as my track record with them is not at all impressive. There were times when I set out in earnest on January 1 but got lost along the way, while other times my heart was never in it to begin with.

In recent years, I have selected a word or theme to focus on,
in lieu of specific goals. Occasionally, it felt as though my word chose me, instead. (No one enthusiastically chooses Grief as such a word, of course, but some things are unavoidable.)
 

For 2014, I have returned to making resolutions, and I'm indeed resolved about my goals. At the same time, I want to be realistic, understanding that my intention is to develop healthy new habits rather than set records or compete with myself or others. My list includes the predictable, eating better and exercising more, along with reading more books and blogging frequently. I'm ready to part with a great deal of clutter--both the physical kind we've been tripping over at home and the mental/emotional variety which robs us of our present moments by constantly distracting us. I particularly want to better establish a daily meditation practice.

Underlying my entire list of goals for this new year is a deep desire to be more mindful in all my actions, so my word for 2014 is Mindfulness. I have observed that when I move, eat, speak, listen, read, and work mindfully, the various aspects of my life more readily fall into place. I'm using Jon Kabat-Zinn's working definition of mindfulness:
"paying attention on purpose--in the present moment and nonjudgmentally--to the unfolding of experience, moment to moment." I'm ready for more of that in my life.

How about you? What are you looking forward to in 2014? Have you made new year's resolutions or chosen a particular focus? I welcome your thoughts.