I've done a little better than last week, I think. Having found that the app I use to keep track of meditation sessions with my phone is considerably more motivating than I anticipated, I recently scouted out another free app to track my fluid intake. I haven't been drinking enough water lately, and Waterlogged has helped a great deal. I find that being mindful of how much water I drink also leads me to be more mindful of other food and beverage, so I definitely ate better last week.
I also did more walking--including one half hour walk in a cold misty rain. I'm almost never willing to walk very much in bad weather, but I finally had some momentum going that I wanted to continue. So that also felt like progress.
Clutter clearing has been pretty slow, of late, but I did do a little. I'm not struggling with perfectionism as much as I used to, and I credit my continued daily meditation practice with that. I'd like to do more reading and writing, but I'm finding that if I want to get around to all the things I've decided are important, I'm going to have to rotate my focus, somehow. Realistically, my list of resolutions is too long and varied this year to maintain all of them at full throttle, alongside my other responsibilities and interests.
I have felt more mindful than I did the week before, when I sort of went off the rails. I'm particularly pleased to have regained my balance somewhat, rather than giving up. Meditation is a daily reminder that veering off track from time to time is inevitable. What matters is strengthening the habit of making mid-course corrections. Guiding our attention back to the breath is a metaphor for something we do in a broader sense every day, as we notice we are straying from the task at hand or an important priority, when we gently re-focus.
I'm figuring out that the "gently" part is very important for a number of reasons, one of which is that when we get bent out of shape over the need to re-adjust, those harsh reactions can easily become added distractions. Berating ourselves (or others) for not doing something well enough doesn't help us do it better. On the contrary, it further competes for our energy and focus and often initiates extremely unproductive blame-and-shame cycles. Before long, you have more to overcome than failing to accomplish a relatively simple task.
Overly-dramatic negative reactions also make you feel awful, and who wants to sign up for that? If I feel horrible about myself whenever I try to ________ (diet, clean, meditate.... whatever), I'll eventually stop trying. In meditation, it's always possible to gently begin again, in the moment, with this very breath. Not only are there 2nd and 3rd chances, but an endless number. Returning to the breath--no matter how many times--is not an interruption of the practice; it is the practice.
I've discovered a book (with an accompanying CD) by Sharon Salzberg that has helped me understand this concept more clearly, as well as offering practical tips for meditation, including some variations from the basic practice. The book is laid out as a 28-day program, so I decided to start it March 1st and will report further as I work my way through it.
How are things going for you? What tools have you come across to assist you on your journey?
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